Hanggang dito na lang

Hanggang dito na lang
ako, sa harap ng salamin:
dito, kung saan nakatingin
ako sa aking tingin.

Mawawari ang dagundong
ng kabayo sa malayo.
Nagbabadya sa likuran

Big time

Pwede kong isa-isahin
ang kanyang sarili.
Tila kinakausap niya ito at tinatanong
"Ano ang iyong pangalan?"
PAULIASI TAULAVA.—"The Rock"
mula paa paitaas—
"Yaya, ayos lang ako." Hindi.
Sa ulo, ang hapdi, ang hapdi.
Binabanlawan ang anak.

Ganoon na lamang ang aking pagkagulat
nang makita ko ang lumabas.
Ang dagundong na waring yabag ng diyos
na nagbabalik.

Big time talaga si Asi.

– mga linya mula sa Heights LVII 2. Geneve, Gian, Pepito

Arkero

Nakapihit ang pisi ng búsog.
Pasan ng palaso ang pag-aabang.

Maláon nang nakabinbin ang amba.

Nakukutuban ang pangamba
sa pagpintig ng pulso.
                                      Napabitiw.
Kagyat ang pagpikit.
Waring may tinamaan.

The Show

The woman in the mirror finds herself
reflected by a face.

The light from the vanity glows warmly.
She begins to conceal the blemishes,

her hands applying the foundation
of what is to come – a blush

across her cheeks, a red streak
covers her lips. A line

defines the eye,
its shadow, masked by the light

which begins to flicker.
Her hands falter and her heart beats

faster. The show is about to begin.
The lights lose light

and the woman gazes
at the mirror.

“Of the Parrat and other birds that can speake”

It is for certain knowne that they have died
for very anger and griefe that they could not
learn to pronounce some hard words.

—Pliny the Elder

When you buy the bird for your mother
you hope it will talk to her. But weeks pass
before it does anything except pluck the bars
with its beak. Then one day it says, “infect.”

Your mother tells you this on the phone,
and you drive over, find the frozen meals
you bought for her last week sweating
on the countertop. “In fact,” she says

in answer to your question, “I have been
eating,” and it’s as you point to the empty
trash can, the spotless dishes, that you
realize the bird is only saying, “in fact,”

that this is now the preamble to all
of your mother’s lies. “In fact,” she says,
“I have been paying the bills,” and you
believe her until you find a cache

of unopened envelopes in the freezer.
More things are showing up where
they shouldn’t. Looking out the back
window one evening you see craters

in her yard. While she’s watching TV,
you go out with a trowel and excavate
picture frames, flatware that looks like
the silver bones of some exquisite

animal. You worry when you arrive
one day and see the open, empty cage
that you will find the bird dead, stuffed
in an oven mitt and left in a drawer,

but you find it sitting on her shoulder
in the kitchen. “In fact,” she says,
“he learned to open the cage himself.”
The bird learns new words. You learn

which lies you can ignore. The stroke
that kills her gives no warning, not—
the doctor assures you—that anyone
can predict such things. When you

drive home that night with the cage
belted into the passenger seat, the bird
makes a sound that is not a word
but that you immediately recognize

as the sound of your mother’s phone
ringing, and you know it is the sound
of you calling her again and again,
the sound of her not answering.

– Nick Lantz

Everything and Nothing

There was no one in him; behind his face (which even through the bad paintings of those times resembles no other) and his words, which were copious, fantastic and stormy, there was only a bit of coldness, a dream dreamt by no one. At first he thought that all people were like him, but the astonishment of a friend to whom he had begun to speak of this emptiness showed him his error and made him feel always that an individual should not differ in outward appearance. Once he thought that in books he would find a cure for his ill and thus he learned the small Latin and less Greek a contemporary would speak of; later he considered that what he sought might well be found in an elemental rite of humanity, and let himself be initiated by Anne Hathaway one long June afternoon. At the age of twenty-odd years he went to London. Instinctively he had already become proficient in the habit of simulating that he was someone, so that others would not discover his condition as no one; in London he found the profession to which he was predestined, that of the actor, who on a stage plays at being another before a gathering of people who play at taking him for that other person. His histrionic tasks brought him a singular satisfaction, perhaps the first he had ever known; but once the last verse had been acclaimed and the last dead man withdrawn from the stage, the hated flavor of unreality returned to him. He ceased to be Ferrex or Tamerlane and became no one again. Thus hounded, he took to imagining other heroes and other tragic fables. And so, while his flesh fulfilled its destiny as flesh in the taverns and brothels of London, the soul that inhabited him was Caesar, who disregards the augur's admonition, and Juliet, who abhors the lark, and Macbeth, who converses on the plain with the witches who are also Fates. No one has ever been so many men as this man, who like the Egyptian Proteus could exhaust all the guises of reality. At times he would leave a confession hidden away in some corner of his work, certain that it would not be deciphered; Richard affirms that in his person he plays the part of many and Iago claims with curious words “I am not what I am.” The fundamental identity of existing, dreaming and acting inspired famous passages of his.

For twenty years he persisted in that controlled hallucination, but one morning he was suddenly gripped by the tedium and the terror of being so many kings who die by the sword and so many suffering lovers who converge, diverge and melodiously expire. That very day he arranged to sell his theater. Within a week he had returned to his native village, where he recovered the trees and rivers of his childhood and did not relate them to the others his muse had celebrated, illustrious with mythological allusions and Latin terms. He had to be someone; he was a retired impresario who had made his fortune and concerned himself with loans, lawsuits and petty usury. It was in this character that he dictated the arid will and testament known to us, from which he deliberately excluded all traces of pathos or literature. His friends from London would visit his retreat and for them he would take up again his role as poet.

History adds that before or after dying he found himself in the presence of God and told Him: “I who have been so many men in vain want to be one and myself.” The voice of the Lord answered from a whirlwind: “Neither am I anyone; I have dreamt the world as you dreamt your work, my Shakespeare, and among the forms in my dream are you, who like myself are many and no one.”

– Jorge Luis Borges

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sa wakas maaari nang magsimula
sa wakas maaari
nang magsimula sa wakas
maaari nang magsimula