in the distance, I
see the movement of your lips—
sand within a clam.
Monday, September 7, 2009
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11 comments:
why does the whole poem sound like a sexual innuendo?
MAYBE THAS JUST ME.
hahahaha.
;) Hi Lyza. Salamat sa pagbisita.
No, Lyza. You are not alone. It does sound like a sexual innuendo.
Hmmm... Sarap ng line cuts... lasang tahong na may melted cheese.
lyza, title pa nga lang e. :P
Palitan ng period ang dash.
Wala naman sa'king sexual innuendo ang tula. May element nga siguro ng sexual attraction, dahil sa "clam," pero hindi ito na-realize sa tula dahil nga "sand" ang laman ng clam / sinasabi ng bibig, na tingin ko ang naka-turn off sa persona. Tama ba ang reading?
(Pota, ang sablay talaga ng Tagalog ko.)
Tama nga na may attraction, dahil "in the distance, I / see the movement of your lips—"; kahit malayo ang persona sa tinutukoy niya, napansin pa rin niya ang mga labi nito.
As for the "sand within the clam", maaaring may disgust. May dumi sa bibig, kumbaga.
Tama nga yung reading pero syempre may iba pa rin. :)
Oo nga pala, tungkol doon sa dash: apat lang naman ang candidates ko para sa punctuation na yan: period, colon, semicolon, dash.
Hindi period kasi gusto kong ipalabas ang continuity, hindi finality. Hindi colon kasi hindi lamang paghahambing ng images ang nais ko, and for the same matter hindi rin semicolon, although related sila, may break na nagaganap kapag ginagamit ang semicolon. Dash kasi may continuity, at kahit papaano, may silence.
Base sa tunog kasi, mas nalalagyan ng bigat para sa akin yung huling linya kung period ang ginamit. Mas mahalaga siguro sa akin yung bigat kaysa sa "continuity" na gusto mo sanang ipahayag. (And the dash also lends the feeling that the persona is explaining, rather than simply observing.) Pero hindi naman siguro gano'n kahalaga yung issue ng punctuation -- reader's preference & interpretation na yan.
Pearl = something valuable; something beautiful; something to look at with appreciation or wonder.
Sand = nothing special about it; it's just dust, kumbaga. (Or dirt, like you said.) Ordinary, mundane, possibly even abrasive.
Clam = bibig. Holds the possibility of / is expected to contain something attractive / beautiful / something to be generally appreciated.
Thus:
Sand within the clam = disappointing (or disgusting) to the persona.
Interesting to note in this poem: that the "sand within the clam" was observed by the persona through sight ("In the distance, I / see") rather than hearing. That it was the movement itself of lips that expressed something mundane or abrasive or useless. (Unless sablay pala ang reading ko and you meant "may dumi sa bibig" literally. :| I hope not.)
THAT SAID,
I don't really like the poem.
The image of the sand inside the clam, taken in this context, is also pearl-forming, aside from your interpretation as something disappointing to the persona. It is not just something disgusting or disappointing; in fact there is a transformation of something mundane into something valuable: pearl. This, in lieu with pearl hunting and the seeing – visual, graphic – instead of hearing something from the lips, means that the persona is hunting for that transformative aspect in the lips that he or she sees. It can be that the persona forces the transformation itself, or that the other is on the verge of transformation.
Anyway, I appreciate your time in reading such an awful piece. :)
Ahhhh, so para pala siyang 'Transformers.' Joke. -_-
Well, technically speaking, pearls aren't made of sand, or formed out of sand. "Pearl formation" takes place when a parasite burrows into the inside of the clam. 'Yun ang alam ko. Although. Hmm. Baka pwede rin. Maybe someone else figured it out. It's just that, in my case, I didn't see the transformative potential in "sand within a clam." Sand, for me, has other, more immediate, more self-reflexive connotations and associations. Sorry -- I'm stuck on the technicalities. I picture things in my head, see, and I really have this image of a clam na puno ng sand and my subconscious goes: pearls = calcium carbonate. Sand = quartz. If sand were to be transformed = limestone, glass. :| Sorry. Pero, maganda yung project mo. At the very least I like the idea behind it, that whole "transformation-slash-potential for transformation" thing you wanted to convey. Try to get other people's readings. Baka ako lang ang hindi naka-gets.
Masyado kong pinilit yung form ng haiku. Para maging klaro: a grain of sand within a clam. At yung pearl nabubuo kapag may foreign object (or parasite, bacteria, etc) sa loob ng isang mollusk. Dahil naiirita yung mollusk, pinapalibutan niya ng calcium carbonate yung object para hindi maging obtrusive.
I'm really glad you went through it in-depth.
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